It's Tough Being A Woman

So I have recently been involved on Sunday nights with an amazing bible study by Beth Moore on Esther. And since today's lesson I have just been going through the days and HW and just answering questions not really getting it. So back ground check...

We are in Esther Ch 2 at the later part when she is basically saving his life. After all that Esther has been through she finds herself a Jew in a Persian world. Not only that, she is now in an extravagant turn of events Queen of this Persian empire. She is told by her father Mordecai there is a plot to kill the King. So Esther goes before the king and tells him of this plot and gives Mordecai the credit and "What does this dim weed do?" He investigates the claim finds it to be true and kills the assassins, with not so much as a thank you to Mordecai. (Even though historically it is custom for there to be a reward)

I thought to myself how frustrating to Esther. Just the same old "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink". Esther all but told the King he deserves your praise and thank you for saving your life.

Can anyone relate in their own relationships to that. How many times have we told our husband something not just for a benefit of him having the knowledge but in some way in hopes of controlling his decisions. In some way make him see, What we mean? What we are saying? Make him have understanding, compassion? Mainly just trying to make him not be stupid. Cause face it sometimes we look at our men and we are like, "what were they thinking?" We love them but I mean, "did something just happen?"

I have found that at times it takes more discipline to give a person the information w/o telling them what to do with it. You know information served with a heaping side of personal agenda never turns in to the meal we planned. We are usually still sitting at the table dishes still scattered all alone wondering.. "What just happened?" While they are out on the golf course acting like they didn't get it. (because they didn't)

Just as Esther, although the scripture does not give her reaction to the circumstances, it can be infered from her character up till now. She handled it with humility, discernment and respect, with wisdom beyond her years.

That is a lot to swallow!!

Yeah I definitely think it is TOUGH BEING A WOMAN!!!

But sometimes providence can be defined as times when God trumps your perfectly good plan with one of His own.. then seems to disappear from it.


But hold on!!! One thing is true!!!

"He's right there and He's there right."


Hats Off To You!!

Me


http://www.lproof.org/

"The Man Chair"

Every man needs a recliner? Ever heard that from the man in your life? Well if you are a new family unit like we are a lot of our furniture came as hand me downs from family and friends. Dining room table and reclining love seat from in-laws (when they got a new one), couch from friends, we even have had three TV's in the two years we have been married and they seem to keep getting bigger(interesting huh?). So when Stephen said I want a recliner I told him you have already broke two why do we need another one? He came back with the age old comment because, "Every man needs a recliner, its the man chair?". I followed with the only thing you can to that, "That is the DUMBEST thing I have ever heard!". So we went on talking about it in that manner, until one day his mom says hey David thinks this recliner we bought is too big so do you guys want it.

Okay so free recliner what am I suppose to say "NO?". So it came to live at our house. A big blue leather over sized recliner. Which I immediately said was too big for our little corner and took up too much of the door way. And I being the woman that I am I refused to sit in it. So starting our stand off about the DUMB recliner. Better known as the "MAN CHAIR"! (insert Tim the Tool Man Taylor Grunt).

So recently as you know my kid has been really sick. It has been some really long nights. When a child has an ear infection they sleep better sitting upright. So I did it I sat in the darn recliner. Okay for the last week I have slept in the recliner and I have learned actually that every mother needs a recliner. It is the "MOMMY CHAIR"!! HA HA!! That still makes me laugh. But yes every woman needs a recliner for those long nights that only a mother knows about.

And hey by the way ladies maybe we should let go of the hormones once in awhile and stop being stubborn and give into those stupid "Man Things"!!


NAH!!!!!!!


Hats Off To You!!

Me

Call Your Mom

So instead in this blog to go on about some more of my hats I wear I decided to concentrate more on my mommy hat. Due to the fact that it is foremost on my mind this evening. You know out of all the jobs in the CIA and heavy machinery and all the dangerous jobs there are in this world I still am not sure that I would not say being a mommy is the scariest....

Why you ask do I say so? I will be glad to tell you. Out of all I have seen and been through in my 27 years, never have I went through something so scary as I did yesterday...

Let me start at the beginning... Lucas woke up yesterday with a 103.4 degree fever. I immediatly gave motrin, wiped him down, gave him fluids, and called the peds. (I think all at once.) I took him in, where I was sure to be told he had another ear infection; as he has had two since beginning of Dec. I was told the opposite; ears , throat and all checked out. It must be a virus, treat the symptoms and call if anything gets worse.

We went on about life stopped in at Heather(my sis) and the baby took a nap. He woke up not feeling well and his fever seemed to be coming back. So in the car we went to head home for more medicine. While driving on 40 the stretch between Cary and Smithfield, while crusing in the fast lane, I became aware that though in the dark it looked like Lucas was going to be sick. I told him to hold on mommy was pulling over. When he did not repond to me I turned the car light on to find it was not him heaving but him having a seizure. Fear and adrenaline took over as I got off the road, ran around the car and called 911.

Needless to say he had a febrile seizure which is common in children when fevers spike quickly. However common it was, it was happening to MY baby, and it was scary. EMS arrived after the longest 4 mins of my life and we were taken to Wake ER. After getting his fever down we were released with a somewhat good bill of health. ;

So how is it all now.. I would like to say all is good and physically it pretty much is we are able to control his fever with motrin. But mentally I am all over the place. Can't sleep with fears I will miss his fever going up. Or everytime he moves I run into his room to check on him. And emotionally you start going over and over in your mind ... what if?.. did I do all things right?...If I would have done this different would it have had a better or different outcome?

I realize now that some of those nights I chose to break curfew or not call my mom from college. Or when I was making certain choices and knowing how much it would hurt my mom. WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!! If I would have known what I know now!!

So mom all I can say is "I am sorry". And you kids out there that are at that stage now know one day you will most likely be a parent and it is not for the faint hearted. Take it serious!! Listen to your Mom she is not as "un cool" as you think! Cause when we become a mother we are instilled with this un wavering desire to love beyond all and protect at expense of ourselves, that you can't understand till a nurse or doctor lays that baby in your arms.

It goes back to a quote that my sister says:

"Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards."

So Hats Off To You!!

(& call your mom)

Me

My First Of Many

So my sister mentioned we do this and so here goes...


I guess I should start with who am I ...

I am first and foremost a woman, with all that comes with it, good and bad and all that gets messy in the middle. I love being a woman and I hate being a woman, but don't we all have a little that we dislike in the middle of what we love if you think about it.

I am also a wife to a wonderful man. That sometimes I think is not aware at how wonderful he is. He is an amazing dad to our son and a provider for our family. He is truly the love of my life. Of course life is not always rainbows and puppy dogs. However, if we spend our time tearing down those we love; what have we really accomplished. Bottom line is marriage is a struggle even in best of circumstances. You just have to work like it all depends on you and pray like it all depends on God. At least that is what my dad says!! LOL

So now what I consider a very important job. I am a stay at home mother to a almost two yr old son. His name is Lucas Michael and he truly is amazing. Never in my life did I feel I can understand love or compassion, or true fear as much as I did the moment he came into my life. He amazes me and scares me too. I love watching him learn and seeing things in a whole new way. I love the way his baby blues light up with something new or when he figures out how something works. The other part is the true fear he puts in me. The fear of am I doing this right? and the worry of what he will become. And I all that comes with the joys and fears of a mother. But hey at the end of the day remember you work like it is you, and pray like it is God.

Well I have shared in my first blog three of my hats that I as a woman, wife and mother wear. But as we women know there is so many more. But I will leave you with this quote from the Serenity Prayer .. which is one of my favs....

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to
change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."

That's all we can do right!!!

Hats Off To You!!!


Me