Call Your Mom

So instead in this blog to go on about some more of my hats I wear I decided to concentrate more on my mommy hat. Due to the fact that it is foremost on my mind this evening. You know out of all the jobs in the CIA and heavy machinery and all the dangerous jobs there are in this world I still am not sure that I would not say being a mommy is the scariest....

Why you ask do I say so? I will be glad to tell you. Out of all I have seen and been through in my 27 years, never have I went through something so scary as I did yesterday...

Let me start at the beginning... Lucas woke up yesterday with a 103.4 degree fever. I immediatly gave motrin, wiped him down, gave him fluids, and called the peds. (I think all at once.) I took him in, where I was sure to be told he had another ear infection; as he has had two since beginning of Dec. I was told the opposite; ears , throat and all checked out. It must be a virus, treat the symptoms and call if anything gets worse.

We went on about life stopped in at Heather(my sis) and the baby took a nap. He woke up not feeling well and his fever seemed to be coming back. So in the car we went to head home for more medicine. While driving on 40 the stretch between Cary and Smithfield, while crusing in the fast lane, I became aware that though in the dark it looked like Lucas was going to be sick. I told him to hold on mommy was pulling over. When he did not repond to me I turned the car light on to find it was not him heaving but him having a seizure. Fear and adrenaline took over as I got off the road, ran around the car and called 911.

Needless to say he had a febrile seizure which is common in children when fevers spike quickly. However common it was, it was happening to MY baby, and it was scary. EMS arrived after the longest 4 mins of my life and we were taken to Wake ER. After getting his fever down we were released with a somewhat good bill of health. ;

So how is it all now.. I would like to say all is good and physically it pretty much is we are able to control his fever with motrin. But mentally I am all over the place. Can't sleep with fears I will miss his fever going up. Or everytime he moves I run into his room to check on him. And emotionally you start going over and over in your mind ... what if?.. did I do all things right?...If I would have done this different would it have had a better or different outcome?

I realize now that some of those nights I chose to break curfew or not call my mom from college. Or when I was making certain choices and knowing how much it would hurt my mom. WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!! If I would have known what I know now!!

So mom all I can say is "I am sorry". And you kids out there that are at that stage now know one day you will most likely be a parent and it is not for the faint hearted. Take it serious!! Listen to your Mom she is not as "un cool" as you think! Cause when we become a mother we are instilled with this un wavering desire to love beyond all and protect at expense of ourselves, that you can't understand till a nurse or doctor lays that baby in your arms.

It goes back to a quote that my sister says:

"Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards."

So Hats Off To You!!

(& call your mom)

Me